The Way Out Ministry is a Christian-based organization
focused on strengthening relationships with Jesus Christ.
The following testimonies are from those who have been impacted by this ministry.
Testimony regarding The Way Out's Support Group
Coming to Support Group has meant everything to my husband and me! When our world fell into darkness and what felt like death, Support Group offered light and life. Filled with Godly wisdom, the advice that was shared was truly a lamp to our feet when we could not even think how to put one foot in front of the other. Knowing that everything was strictly confidential gave us the freedom to express our deepest feelings. We received the love of Jesus and prayer support from those going through similar situations along with hope from the testimonies of others that God is still working all things together for good for those who love Him. Support Group and its leaders have our undying love, respect, and gratitude!
Testimony of hope from Robert
I was 13 years old when I was molested by a friend of the family. I was the 7th child with 5 older brothers and 1 older sister. After I was born I had another sister. I do not remember my father giving me much attention or telling me he loved me. I was craving for love and attention from a father figure. When I was molested I felt I was getting the attention I needed. I never told anyone that I was being molested. From this time on I felt I was different from the other boys.
I heard others talk about people like me and they said you could not change. I thought if I got married it would help. If only to cover it up.. I did get married and my wife and I had children. When we had sex I would have to fantacize about men in order to complete the act. I traveled a lot so it was easy to cheat on her. I did feel bad about cheating on her and I would try to stop but I would always go back to my old ways. She did find out I was cheating on her with men and we did end up getting a divorce. I hated myself for what I was doing.
One day I was listening to a christian radio station. They were talking to a guy named Joe Dallas and he was telling how he was able to walk away from homosexuality. I thought if he could do so could I. About the same time I started attending church. I liked the church and they seemed to like me. They even asked me to be a deacon. I knew they had a policy that a practicing homosexual could not hold an office in the church. There was an older man in the congregation that I felt I could trust with my story. He advised me to go for counselling and to tell the church I could not take the post of deacon at this time.
I called AA because i knew they had a good 12 step program. They were very nice and put me in touch with a counselor that had good results. He was a christian and he told me that Jesus was the only way out of the life style I was living. I then gave my heart to God and after about 3 years of counseling he told me I knew what to do when I was tempted and he could do no more for me.
A friend then told me about The Way Out Ministry and invited me to attend a meeting. This is one of the best things I have ever done. They help me from falling back into my old life style.
Testimonies from a Mother and Daughter
Thirty three years ago I asked my daughter a question and her answer would change our relationship for years to come. I asked her if she was a lesbian. She said she was and asked me if I hated her. I told her I didn’t hate her, I loved her, but I hated the life she was choosing to live. She told me she could tell me where I could go for help (PFLAG) and I told her I didn’t need help, since she was the one that needed the help. How little did I know how much help I was going to need. I didn’t want anybody to know she was a lesbian. She was my daughter and I loved her and I didn’t want anyone talking about her. I didn’t want to tell my pastor. What would he think of Debbie? I hadn’t heard of Exodus and I had no idea of where to go for help. I knew for sure it wasn’t PFLAG.
When I first found out about Debbie I told her she could never bring anyone home. Our relationship was very strained. I felt like I was loosing her and I didn’t want that. In the meantime, I read a book by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies called "Someone I Love is Gay". In the book Anita said we may be the only Jesus our child’s partner ever sees. She also said that partner may accept Jesus as their Saviour and lead our child back to Him. That really opened my eyes. Debbie’s partner sure wasn’t seeing Jesus in me. Even though it was still hard for me, I did let her bring her partner home. I kept praying that God would remove Debbie from the lifestyle when the Holy Spirit asked me where her relationship was with God.
I knew I needed to be praying about her relationship with God and not about her lifestyle. When I started praying about Debbie’s relationship with God our relationship started little by little to change. Debbie and her partner at that time were fostering children. They had a little 8 year old foster girl who told them if they didn’t start taking her to church she was going to the Jewish Synagoue next door. This little girl was not raised in church but really wanted to go. They decided they better get her in church so off they went. The church God sent them to was wonderful. The pastor and congregation reached out to them with so much love. After they had gone there a few weeks the pastor and his wife met with them. He told them that they taught homosexuality was a sin because that’s what the word of God says. But they were welcome to worship at their church. After about three or four years of going to church there, Debbie gave her life back to Jesus. About six or eight months later her ex-partner gave her life to Jesus. Four years ago Debbie attended her first Exodus Conference . During praise & worship she took my hand and asked “did you ever think we’d be at an Exodus Conference together?”. Three years ago her ex-partner attended her first conference. I will forever be grateful for that little 8 year old foster girl and a pastor that didn't compromise the word of God. What a mighty God we serve!
I was raised in a loving, though strict, Christian home. My parents divorced when I was 12 and I was raised primarily by my mother and I was estranged from my father, something of my choosing.
As cliché as it may sound I fell in love with my best friend in high school. I had an idea what these feelings were about and how it would impact my life. At the time I had no one to discuss this with especially my best friend. At the same time, I began drifting away from God; or rather I felt He was leaving me behind. I told a friend in youth group I felt as though God wasn’t listening to me when I prayed. He answered: “my God always listens to me.” This further reinforced my feelings of isolation from God, and further reinforced my feelings that He was abandoning me. After all, it seemed as though everyone else was hearing God’s voice but me. By now I wasn’t attending church because I had a job and worked on Sunday. I was involved in Campus Crusade for Christ and in youth group at church, but I questioned everything I was being taught.
Then I went to college. College presented so many ideas I had never heard about or thought about. I don’t want to insinuate that college is a bad thing, but I was questioning my upbringing so much that I was a sponge for all these new ideas. At college I met real-life lesbians for the first time. I joined O.W.L. (Organization for Women’s Liberation). There I learned how all men were evil and potential rapists. I learned that lesbianism was the only alternative to a life of fear and abuse from men. I also learned that God is probably not real, or may be a woman. It sounds pretty ridiculous now, but then I was looking for something to replace the belief’s I had grown up with.
A couple years later I decided it was time to move out of my mother’s house. You see, I wanted to be able to explore the lifestyle I thought was to be mine. I knew I could never do that while living at home, so I moved to Columbus and attended Ohio State University. And then I did everything my mother taught me not to do.
I had an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. And no matter how many friends, or sex, or drugs I tried to fill that emptiness with I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t speak to my Mother for months at a time because I knew she would know what I was doing through the phone and I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me-a feeling I had fought most of my life. I often put myself in very dangerous situations because of my lifestyle.
I ended dropping out of college and going to nursing school. I had a number of girl friends in the following years. Most importantly I continued to try and fill that lonely empty pit in my soul. Years later and many moves later I ended up in Maine. My relationship with my mother was more cordial but certainly not good. She kept asking me if I believed in salvation. I always said yes, not because I was sure I believed it but because I knew that’s what she wanted to hear.
After having settled into a routine in Maine my partner and I decided to be foster parents. It was my third foster child who changed my life forever. This child kept asking me to take her to church, which was odd because she had never been to church. She finally gave me an ultimatum – either take her to church or she would attend the church next door. Since the church next door was not a Christian church I decided to find a Christian church. I had been to a bean supper at a church and decided to attend that one.
Soon I realized the empty space in me began to fill up a bit. I really started looking back at my past and began putting some things together. Even though I thought God had walked away from me, I realized it was I who walked away from God. He kept me safe when I put myself in dangerous situations. He kept me from becoming addicted to drugs, He helped me give up alcohol cold turkey. Until now I never attributed those things to God. Most importantly, I realized that empty hole I felt could only be filled by one thing-God. And I was finally letting Him in there.
After listening to a sermon on serving God, I realized I needed to make a lot of changes in my life before God could use me the way He wanted to. I threw myself at the cross of Jesus and repented of everything and asked for His mercy and grace. And so my new life had begun.
I called my mother that evening to tell her I had just walked away from the lesbian lifestyle. You can read in her testimony how that impacted her. The hard part was telling my partner of 10 years about my decision. Our life was very difficult for a while. I really had to trust God that this was the right thing to do. And I had to immerse myself in Bible Studies, church and Christian fellowship.
I no longer look back at all the “good times” I had had because I now know they weren’t really such good times. Now I focus on my relationship with God and on having a Christ-centered home for my children. Times get tough, but at least now I know where to turn for comfort . And it’s all because God spoke through ten year old foster child.
Testimonies from a Husband and Wife
For better or for worse… Neither Chuck nor I imagined that the worst would be part of our Christian marriage, but a secret struggle with homosexual behaviors hurled us into a redemptive process that brought us closer to Christ and to one another. Christ’s redemptive work in our marriage began in 2005 after Charles attended a Christian men’s conference. We would like to share some powerful lessons from our nine-year process in hopes that the story of Christ’s work in our marriage might offer you His hope of redemption and restoration.
Charles: Healing does not replace homosexuality with heterosexuality. Healing teaches us the freedom to pursue holiness and purity. I have learned that it is not realistic to expect that God will remove temptation from anyone. On the contrary, temptation happens, and God provides the strength and grace to learn to follow Him.
Lynn: I know that I do not have the power “to fix” Chuck, nor should that be my goal. God wants me to trust Him with Chuck. I have found that praying for Chuck is much for effective than desperate attempts to control his behavior or choices. This frees me to discover how God wants to transform me. Our journey has involved God humbling me and challenging me to deal with my own sin.
Charles: Freedom to live for Christ happens within a community of Christians. My Christian counselor, The Way Out support group, and my accountability brothers have helped me to learn that my identity is not in men, but rather in Christ alone. As my Christian brothers have shown me Christ’s love, grace and mercy, I have learned to love and care for Lynn in ways that I never could have imagine a few years ago. It’s only through the process of learning what is real and true about one’s identity, sexuality, and capacity for healthy relationships that one learns a new way of seeing others and the world. In short, things look and feel different.
Lynn: Despite good intentions, spouses are not good accountability partners. Early in the process, we discovered that our “fearful” responses intensified each other’s battles. God provided us wise, Christian friends who were not threatened by the struggle. Even in our “ugliest” moments these friends love us and point us back to Truth. They ask us to do the same for them and in doing so, “normalize” us.
Charles: My sexual attraction toward my wife is not exclusively physical. I discovered through counseling that attraction is both psychological (emotional) and physical. Although my same-sex-attraction was solely based on physical attractions, my emotional attraction was for Lynn. My same-sex-attraction had no bearing on my emotional attraction for her. Within that context of attraction, I discovered that I was sincerely and narrowly heterosexual – only attracted to Lynn.
Lynn: There is comfort in knowing that Chuck’s love for me is deeper than mere physical attraction. He confirms his commitment to me by choosing not to pursue his unsolicited same sex attraction. God has redeemed the meaning of the temptation for me. What Satan intended for destruction, God has redeemed as evidence of his healing power and Chuck’s love for me.
Testimony from a Parent
I feel Betty and Jan were God sent. When you receive the news that your child is gay, it changes your whole world. We chose to not share this news with others. We felt so alone until we met with Betty and Jan. We could talk about our son openly and just knowing there were others with the same heartbreak seemed to help. We pray together, we praise God together, and we also cry together. We love our children so much and we know God loves them more. We also know that all things are possible with God even opening the eyes of our gay children.